Karl

I found out a couple of days ago that my husband has not yet read my blog.  "I think that I read most of the first post", he said.  I am going to use this opportunity to let him know a few of the many things that I love about him, and also some things that make me laugh. I wonder how long it will be before he sees it.

He always manages to muster a little energy after work for "Daddy Monster".  This involves chasing the children around the house roaring like a monster, catching and tickling or wrestling Astrid and Alexander.

Inspite of me teeling him that life must go on he is reluctant to schedule his own physical at the docs. in case it  clashes with one of appointments that I have't even made yet. Although frankly his memory is worse than mine at this point and he never remembers the things that the doc tells me:)

He is always asking me if I have remembered to take my pils while invariably forgeting his own.

He takes Alexander out after dark and like the brave warriers they are they valiently protect the family by eliminating as many scorpions as they can catch.  This is one of Alexander's favorite things to do.

He prefers chemical baths (jumping in the pool) to an actual shower.

He is trying hard to get fitter as he knows that he will have to step up a bit where running the house, children's activities and business is concerned.  He has been on the running machine twice now I think:)

He holds me when I get scared and then I begin to feel safe again.

He will always make sure that we have planned for the future whatever that may be.

He carries Astrid (5) to bed "like a baby" each night and looks under her bed and in the closet so that she feels safe and loved.

He will microwave those revolting smelling chicken nuggets for Astrid as he knows that the smell makes me want to vomit. (I have a very sensitive nose and a lot of smells make me want to vomit, I hope this does not get worse when I start the chemo)

I love you Karl, the last thirteen years of my life have been the best ever. We have built a wonderful life together and acheived so much, long may it continue.

Children and Nightmares

Maybe I am giving this more thought than it needs but both children are having nightmares on a regular basis. Astrid has them most nights and they break my heart.  They are often about the family getting attacked by a variety of monsters. She has wings so can fly away.  Once she told me that she ripped off one of her wings to give to me so that I could escape too.  It did not stick so I still couldn't escape. It took all of my strength not to break down and cry with her. I told her to keep her wings and escape.

Alexander has also been having the same type of dreams of monsters attacking the family.

Maybe this is normal for this age group but I cannot help thinking  that they are worried about me. I think that at some stage in the future we will have to consider counseling, but I don't want to give this tumor more visibility in their lives than it deserves right now. They have no idea (I think), how serious this is.